Make money using Dayal’s laws of financial investment

The following speech was delivered at some high flying Toastmaster’s competiton a few years ago. Unfortunately the speech did not go past the area contest, which is why the world missed it – hence the financial collapse. If the world had followed the advice provided, there would have been no financial collapse. So you know who to balme for the current crisis – Toastmasters!

Thank you, Mr. Contest master. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am the president of “Andrew Kennedy Foundation” – a non-profit, non-government and non-existent think-tank. Our motto is “Solving world problems, one problem at a time”! We have solved many of the world’s problems: The Middle East problem – solved! Virginia Traffic problem – solved! World drug problem – solved!

Today, I am here talking to you about a problem that is most near and dear to my heart. Today, I will explain to you “Dayal’s Laws of Financial Investments”. People normally spend thousands of dollars attending 3 day seminars listening to much inferior advice. Ladies and Gentlemen! Have I a deal for you! Today, in seven minutes I will explain three fundamental laws of financial investment that will change your life forever! If you follow these three laws, your life will be changed forever. But more importantly, if you don’t follow these laws, your life will remain unchanged.

You see this Hawaiian tee shirt, the sandals and the beach. You don’t – that’s what happens when you don’t follow these laws. The first law of financial investment is “Buy low, sell high”. Sounds like common sense! But, you will be surprised at how many people choose to ignore this law. How many times, you have heard strangers in elevators say “Man, I lost a bundle in the stock market today”! What do you do to a fellow who is down? Of course, you punch him in the stomach! You walk over to him, and in the most condescending tone, you say “You should have followed Dayal’s first law of financial investment – buy low, sell high”. Be careful, in case the guy takes a swing at you. A word of warning, the laws can be harmful to your health!

When you mention the buy low, sell high, people always wonder “how do I know if the stocks are going to go up”? The answer is lies in Dayal’s second law of financial investment. Which is – “always buy good stocks”. If you buy good stocks, obviously they will go up thus allowing you to buy low and selling high! Thus, if you follow Dayal’s second law of financial investments, it will automatically lead you to Dayal’s first law of financial investments.

“Buy low, sell high” – four words. “Buy good stocks” – three words. As you can see, as the laws are increasing in impact, they are reducing in the number of words! Therefore, it is only natural that Dayal’s Third Law of Financial Investment must be two words. It has taken me countless years to come up with Dayal’s Third Law of Financial Investment that can match the impact of the first two laws.

Ladies and Gentlemen: I unveil to you, the third and most important law of financial investment. The law is “Invest smart”. “Buy low, sell high” – four words. “Buy good stocks” – three words. “Invest smart” – two simple words, yet they form the most perfect law! If you follow these three laws, they will lead you to financial nirvana!

You could be the next guy on PBS, on the beaches of Hawaii, giving seminars to the other misguided souls on these laws of financial investments. In fact, I am planning my first three day seminar in Florida this winter. For a small fee, I will teach you these laws of financial investment, using a flip chart and color markers. Later on, I intend to hire the guy from “Oxyclean” to do a series of infomercials. In the mean time, if you want your life to be changed. If you want financial nirvana.

If you want to learn Dayal’s laws of financial investment, see me after the completion. Bring your fat checkbook along!

Mr. Contestmaster!

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